‘A malevolent festive Jammie Dodger’: the best (and worst) supermarket mince pies, tasted and rated

According to an informal survey of my nearest and occasionally dearest, many younger Britons believe that they don’t like mince pies. It’s a claim that I always counter annoyingly with: “No, you just haven’t had a good one”, before forcing a homemade version, all crumbly, buttery pastry and plump currants, in their faces. To be fair to them, though, mince pies are baked so firmly into our festive tradition that some retailers seem to take sales for granted, and concentrate on price and shelf life rather than quality. (Which isn’t to say I won’t force down a fair few over the festive season.)

That, at least, is the only excuse for the pappy pastry and unpleasantly sour gloopy filling that has marred so many Christmases past for me, but I come into this taste test determined to see the positives, mostly because I don’t want my fellow taster, the deliciously upbeat professional baker Benjamina Ebuehi, to think I’m a grinch.

We agree, as we survey the field, that we’re looking for crisp, golden pastry and a genuinely fruity filling, and that we’ll try to give any innovations a fair hearing. I think I’m more fixated on booze than Benjamina, and she’s fussier about the aesthetics, as befits a stylist, but we feel like quite a balanced pairing as we take deep breaths and dive in. Felicity Cloake

The best supermarket mince pies

Best overall/best bargain:
Mr Kipling Signature all butter mince pies

Benjamina Ebuehi Much wider and more shallow than you’d expect, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, any deeper and it might be too much. The pastry looks well baked, with one of the most appealing colours of all the test group. Overall, it’s quite enjoyable, with perhaps just a bit too much apple for me. ★★★★☆

Felicity Cloake Attractive, with a nice colour, even on the base. The pastry’s not bad, either: crisp, if not very flavourful. The filling has a pleasant citrussy note (marmalade?) without any unpleasant acidity and a gently boozy note. I like the chunky texture and the chewy peel. Good ratio of pastry to filling, too. ★★★★☆

And the rest …

Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference all butter mince pies

BE Very pretty to look at, but they’d be even better with a darker top. There is a pronounced buttery flavour, but I can’t help but think it tastes a bit artificial. The texture of the filling isn’t my favourite, either – it’s a bit pasty. ★★★☆☆

FC Quite pale on top, and the pastry has some crunch around the edges, but there’s an artificial butter flavour that’s almost ghee-like. Only half-filled with a lot of jam and not much in the way of plump whole fruit, but the flavour isn’t too bad: quite boozy and peppery with an orangey backnote. ★★★☆☆

Morrisons the Best Signature Collection mince pies

BE These are so deep! Maybe too deep. And quite full on. I’m not a fan of a sugar dusting on top, a feature of lots of the other pies, too. Tastes as if it could be mixed with cornflour, perhaps. The pastry has a good colour on the bottom, and I like the thickness. The filling is a bit on the gloopy side, which lets it down a little. This would work really well as a dessert, served warm with custard, rather than straight out of the packet.★★★☆☆

FC Arrestingly, troublingly large – this could go either way, couldn’t it? Nice colour, quite homemade-looking, with very thick pastry, which, with a big Bertha like this, I suppose you’d have to have for reasons of structural integrity. The pastry’s a bit salty, which is good; and buttery, but in an oddly artificial-tasting way. The filling is very jellied – more jelly than fruit – with an emphatically clove-y, almost mentholated top note. Not bad, but you could feed a family of four on one of these. Surely there’s no way anyone could eat a whole one? ★★★☆☆

M&S Collection all butter mince pies

BE These are very pretty to look at, and I love the colour on them, but they’re the smallest of the lot. You get some brandy flavour coming through nicely, too, and they’re well filled, but I’d like just a bit more of those spices coming through. ★★★☆☆

FC Very pallid, but a nice bake on the bottom. The pastry has a crisp outer, but it’s very sweet with a slightly bicarby fizziness. Half-filled in the centre, though the filling gets points for having discernible solid fruit and not being too wet; I like the spice, too, but it’s very acidic and sweet. Not the worst. ★★☆☆☆

Tesco Finest all butter mince pies

BE The pastry stands out for being very thin on the base, but tastes really floury and underbaked. These are a bit forgettable. I’d eat one if offered, but wouldn’t buy them. ★★☆☆☆

FC I like the little snowy top, but the base pastry is a bit soggy and it’s very soft, albeit with a decent buttery flavour. The mincemeat has a good texture, with lots of whole fruit and some mixed peel, and the flavour isn’t bad, but it is so citrussy that it’s a bit like the end of an orange Calippo. I can see the spice, but the flavour is quite subtle. Inoffensive. ★★★☆☆

Waitrose all butter mince pies

BE The pastry tastes the most buttery of the test group, but the filling lets it down – it’s really bland and has a bit of an artificial aftertaste. ★★★☆☆

FC Generic-looking, but with a nice colour, and, given the pappy pastry, the sugar on top adds a welcome element of crunch. The filling is very jammy and acidic, albeit with a few whole chunks of fruit – I can see spice, but can’t really taste it, and the citric acid is troubling the back of my throat. Could do with a sweet sherry to wash it down. ★★☆☆☆

Asda Exceptional luxury mince pies

BE The least attractive of them all. Normally, when the filling bubbles up through the sides, it adds some rustic charm, but this is the opposite. It looks the most underbaked, too. The citrus in the filling comes through strongly, and the chunkiness of the raisins and dried fruit is appreciated. ★☆☆☆☆

FC Someone got hit with the ugly stick: these look like something someone’s toddler brought home from nursery, and are overflowing with brown gloop. Nice, chunky fruit with discernible pieces of peel, which I like, but that Valencian orange oil is doing some hard work – it tastes like an orange fruit pastille – and I don’t get much spice. ★★★☆☆

Co-op Irresistible all butter mince pies

BE There’s an odd, dusty texture to the pastry, and it’s drying my mouth out quite a bit. The filling isn’t as citric acid-heavy as some of the others, but it leans a bit too sweet for me. ★★☆☆☆

FC Very pallid pastry that tastes overwhelmingly floury, like eating raw offcuts when you’re too lazy to chuck them in the bin. Nice big pieces of fruit, and a boozy top note (brandy, rather than rum, sadly), which slightly counteracts the acidity of the fruit. ★★★☆☆

Aldi Specially Selected mince pies

BE These are chunky! And so weighty, I’m a bit worried. The pastry is very thick, which I often don’t mind, but here it’s so sandy and floury that it tastes very underbaked. I do like the crunch from the demerara sugar on top, though. One point for that. The filling isn’t spiced very much and is heavy on the citric acid. ★☆☆☆☆

FC Quite chunky and rustic-looking, with a nice, solid, biscuity base, but the pastry itself has a strange raw flavour and raw flour texture. The mincemeat is overwhelmingly sharp and very gloopy – I think I can taste alcohol, but not much else – while the texture is just grape skins and biscuit. Like a malevolent festive Jammie Dodger. ★☆☆☆☆

Lidl Deluxe all butter mince pies

BE These look like your classic supermarket mince pies, and the base has a nice golden colour. But there’s an overwhelmingly artificial taste to it all. The filling is more of a thick paste than chunky and fruity. Not good at all. ☆☆☆☆☆

FC Nice colour, and I like the slightly rococo pastry top – like a Jammie Dodger (but, visually at least, not a malevolent one). Again, the base has colour, but the pastry is disappointingly soft given that colour, with a floury texture and a slightly stale, cardboardy flavour. The filling has a good chunky consistency, but a citrussy tang that borders on the aggressive, which goes right the way through the fruit. Decent peppery spicing – is it allspice? ★★☆☆☆